Romance Your Writer Within

And Reawaken Your Passion To Write

Tag: listening

Buy Her Flowers

Excerpt from Romance Your Writer Within by Melba Burns

Buy Her Flowers

Don’t you love receiving flowers from a loved one?

Yesterday, a friend gave me a dozen beautiful roses – and that act made my day. In any relationship, the gift of flowers speaks love, and will lift your energy.

Be the one who demonstrates love by investing $5.00 in flowers for your desk, or your coffee table. It will make your writing area more sacred. Those flowers could also make you aware of the beauty in your life, and open you to more of it.

The poet and acclaimed American writer, May Sarton, writes of flowers in her moving book, Journal of a Solitude:

“When I am alone the flowers are… felt as presences. Without them I would die… They live and die in a few days; they keep me closely in touch with process, with growth… I am floated in their moments.”

As you gaze at the soft, strong, smooth petal of that yellow tulip or red rose or purple iris, contemplate it as a reflection of your innermost self: If those delicate-looking flowers can withstand rains and storms, whatever the season may throw at them, you can too.

At midlife, you may be grieving losses that are common at this stage of your life. So, it is doubly important to see and value your own Inner Self. Go out today and buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, to reflect back your own inner love and beauty.

Yes, you have your own inner beauty, whether you acknowledge that or not: it is your Writer Within who is constantly with you. Let that beauty flow onto pages and into your stories and novels. You will stir your passion and reawaken your dreams.

“It’s my contention that the mere presence of passion within you –and the enthusiasm that comes with it – is all you need to fulfill your dreams.”

Wayne Dyer

— Dr.  Melba Burns

Romance Your Writer Within

And Reawaken Your Writer Within

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Understand Her Creative Process

In any relationship, there are ebbs and flows, ecstasy with falling in love, then sometimes, disagreements, frustrations and feeling out of love. In good marriages, notice that partners stay with their process even when it’s uncomfortable, because they know that seeing each other through it builds a stable foundation for the relationship that in turn supports their individual growth.

 

Romance Your Writer WithinTo romance your Writer Within, there are steps or stages, based upon the four main steps in the creative process.

These steps are:

  1. Preparation
  2. Incubation
  3. Illumination
  4. Verification

If you know these steps, you can understand and work with them, instead of feeling hopelessly, inexplicably stuck in your writing.

  • Preparation
    You decide that you wish to write a piece, say, a novel, a short story, a book of essays, and then you create the environment where you can write.You do whatever it takes to open up to receive ideas, whether that be gathering your pen and notebook and going for a walk in nature; or cleaning up your desk and creating order to make room for your creativity; or keeping a notebook by your bed so that when your Writer Within presents the idea you are able retrieve it.

Your mind is opening up to new possibilities.

Consider how a woman expecting a baby would probably create a nursery, look at baby-clothes, take good care of herself because she’s about to become a “mom;” would generally prepare to receive that child. Similarly, you must prepare to receive your creative ideas; otherwise, they will escape – vanish into the ethers from whence they came. If you don’t have a notebook and pen to receive them, you might not be able to retrieve them again.

Preparation is crucial.

  • Incubation
    After you begin your project, you have a general idea of what you would like to say, but often, the key component feels elusive and you just can’t put your finger on it. Well, the work is germinating, incubating; cooking. Just like when you bake a cake: you put all the ingredients into the bowl, stir, then pour into a pan and put into the oven – then wait the required time while those ingredients transform into a real cake. Ah, what a lovely scent as they’re cooking.

 

But, in this process of creativity, this lovely scent may not feel so good. Yes, you mostly believe that you can write this piece, and you’ve got the right ingredients – knowledge, intuition, perseverance, desire, intention, writing ability, and great ideas – but will they actually cook and transform into your book or your story?
This can be a frustrating wait. Unfortunately, it is just part of the process. Remember that baby? Well, as you know, it takes nine months to gestate that child. It may not take that long to gestate your project, but it might take longer than you want it to.

Trust that you will get through it. This is when your Writer Within is doing the transformational work. You are not working alone here, you’re in partnership, and your intention and commitment will give this project beautiful form – if you allow yourself to partner with your Writer Within. This is a huge part of the creative process.

“It is not our task to determine the meaning or substance of a story in advance. Thinking about it is as likely to take us away from its essence as toward it…It is best if we can get out of our own way to find a rhythm that elicits the story in us.”
                                                                                                     Deena Metzger

  • Illumination – or Aha!
    Eureka! You’ve got your answer, the one you’ve been waiting and hoping for.

    The moment where you KNOW it will work!

    Your Writer Within has spoken and you are well on your way now.

    Yes, this is a very exciting moment, and very often you will be inclined to sit at your computer for much longer than you ever have before, because you just know what to do now, and where your project is going. It all falls into place. You say, “Thank you, Writer Within!”

    Still, there may be anxiety that arises at this breakthrough moment. Often, our Aha experience can also scare us. Dr. Rollo May addresses this in The Courage to Create: “The world, both inwardly and outwardly, takes on an intensity that may be momentarily overwhelming.”

    Now that you have received this awesome idea for a story, or a book you’ve been struggling with, you feel the sense of responsibility to put it into action. Here’s where self-doubts may niggle their way into your mind, or the Critic comes a-calling and you wonder if you are up to the task at hand. Can I really do this? Can I carry the book through to the finish? Do I have the energy, or the time to actually write this?

    Yes, it can be intimidating and scary. However, that huge realization of Aha can lift you up into such a higher realm that you feel carried by some other “force,” or energy. Most likely, this is your Writer Within, and if you tune in and trust her, you can write together – passages you never would’ve believed would come through your pen!

  •  Verification
    This is where you need feedback from others. You really want to hear that you are on the right track – or not. (Ooh, you don’t want to hear this, but it’s a part of the creative process.) Give the piece time, like your newly baked cake, to sit on the counter and cool. Don’t even look at it for a day or so. Then, return to it and read it through – lovingly. Pencil in any changes/edits you want to make. Make those changes.

    Next, give it to one person you trust totally. This is a gentle human being who is not going to slay you with criticism, but will give you honest – and kind – feedback. Loving objectivity is important, not only for the person giving the feedback, but for you in receiving it. For this reason, you should consider that the person you choose may not be one of your family members. Family relationships carry the added weight of history, need and multiple roles; it’s important to remember that our family ways of relating, however supportive they may be, cannot always be mutually objective.

    By way of illustration, I learned this myself, the hard way. After I wrote my first novel, I let my brother read the book, and then to celebrate, I hosted a dinner party for 12 people. When I asked him across that table, “Well, what did you think of my book?” He said, “Your dinner is superb.” Thinking he hadn’t heard me, I asked again and he said, once again, “Your dinner is superb.” Suddenly, I couldn’t eat. While he was trying to protect me from negative comments, I would have preferred a more supportive response. But hey, brothers don’t always give sisters what they want, eh?

    Choose a person whose opinion you respect, then, make an appointment with that person to discuss it. In other words, make time to receive and understand the feedback, without distractions and without rushing. Just as a parent makes time to talk to her child’s teacher, or a couple makes an appointment to discuss one partner’s diagnosis with the doctor, so you love and respect your project by making the time for this step.

    This part of the verification process is crucial because if you just hand it to someone in the publishing world and are rejected, you may never know why – and that can be dismaying.

    Eventually, with step-by-step feedback, your project will be ready to go forth into the world. Then, no matter what comes, rejections or not, you just keep on going. Persevere. Keep sending it out and seeing it published.

 

Remember to …

Romance Your Writer Within and ReAwaken Your Passion to Write

— Dr. Melba Burns

Resources For You

Invite A Conversation

Then Listen

When you meet a person you’re attracted to, you usually ask questions so they may start to open up. To develop a relationship with this person, you must first invite and then listen to what they are saying – otherwise, they will sense your insincerity, close the door to their heart and turn away.

It is the same principle for Romancing Your Writer Within:

  • Ask good questions.
  • Then listen to what she says.

The question “Why” is a crucial one because if you don’t know your motivation to write, you probably won’t get very far.

But if you know why, you will create a strong foundation for putting pen to paper.

When I was a young woman of 25, I wrote in my journal: I want to write because I want to become a very wise woman and share that wisdom with others. I still refer to that entry when I resist my writing. In times of resistance, rejection, or self-doubt, you too can return to your responses to this question; they will fortify you and renew your passion to write.

Romance Your Writer Within ~ with a wee bit of chocolate!

…acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all – ask yourself in the stillest hour of the night: must I write? And if this should be affirmative…then build your life according to this necessity;…
Rainer Maria Rilke

Ask “why write?” and then listen.

Some of your answers might sound like this…

  • I Want to write to tell my stories.
  • Inspire others, so they know they can make changes.
  • Allow the crazy-wild-me to flop onto the page in whatever form it takes.
  • Find out what really is inside me.
  • Have people read my work and, hopefully, enjoy it; laugh, cry, feel what is inside of them and be touched.
  • Make a contribution to this world.
  • Enjoy exploring other people’s lives in my characters.
  • Inspire readers, touch hearts and open them to remember who they are.
  • Go on inner journeys blindly, not knowing where.
  • Appreciate what’s around me and express it in poetry.
  • Trust that what I have to say means something.
  • Write from any mood, any time, anywhere; honoring my soul.
  • Tell my stories, so others get a sense of transcending their own challenges; that by writing, they can learn from their own.
  • Enliven myself – and to empower others.
  • Assist my soul’s transformation – touch another soul.
  • Speak through loved ones I’ve known; give them voice, and learn to understand them better.
  • Gain entry to portals of deep wisdom and knowledge.
  • Lift off from mundane and rediscover the poetic realm.
  • Say a holy YES to life and try to be my best self.
  • Make some money – hey, what a novel thought!
  • I want to write because I must.

Remember You still Can~ Romance Your Writer Within And Reawaken Your Passion To Write.’

— Dr. Melba Burns

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